Why married?

It’s school holidays soon – and we are all going to be swamped with wedding invitations to attend. I attended two wedding dinner within a week, and will be attending another in 3 weeks time. The question that is always ringing in my head is whether the marriage will last, whether there is a matched compatibility, and most importantly whether the flame of love will continue to burn despite the wind?

In today’s society, the focus is not on the longevity of the union, but on lavish gowns, adornments, gifts, gold necklaces, diamond rings and five-star hotel reception.

Marriage is the process by which two people who love each other make their relationship public, official, and permanent. It is the joining of two people in a bond that putatively lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce. Of course, over the course of a relationship that can last as many as seven or eight decades, a lot happens. Personalities change, bodies age, and romantic love waxes and wanes. And no marriage is free of conflict. What enables a couple to endure is how they handle that conflict. So how do you manage the problems that inevitably arise? And how can you keep the spark alive?

I heard joke about marriage and money, because they say you can’t sustain a marriage if you don’t have enough money. But if you’re a Muslim and you have too much money, you also have the itch to expand your series of women, often resulting in more headaches than happiness.

Real happiness is overcoming our negativity and beginning to count our blessings so we can experience the mysterious beauty of life. It is about learning to surrender, release the need to control and allow our lives to unfold in its own unique and organic way. Happiness is a choice that only we can make.

Hugh Downs once wrote, "A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes".

Essence of happiness is love. You are genuinely kind, generous, open, warm and friendly. In marriage, two unique individuals are bound together in a most intimate and demanding relationship.

Successful marriages are not perfect or made in heaven but rather well managed. Accept the realities of day-to-day life, and work within it. It is important that marriages be sustained and improved upon.

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person” – Mignon McLaughlin.

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. - Hebrews 13:4